Tuesday, May 22, 2007

       The truth is that my life only began to improve after I decided to kill myself. Emerging from a morass of inertia and despair, I became energized at the prospect of finally taking some action. The irony, of course, was that I only achieved this power by directing my rage and frustration against myself but at least I finally had an outlet for it. I’d been trying to relieve my pain by reading the Emperor Marcus Aurelius who said in his Meditations: “The soul of man does violence to itself, first of all, when it becomes an abscess and, as it were, a tumor on the universe.” That seemed to sum up my situation pretty well. My brain, with its sick thoughts and imaginings, felt like a tumor and the only strategy I could come up with was to remove the offending organ.

From “The Suicide Diversion,” by Sam Rogers, copyright 2013, www.samrogersbooks.com

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